happy bun

Yawn... Sleepy bun going to work. I feel so happy today. Cos I met up with my frens yesterday. No staying back late shit n nuahing my life at night. But bun is tired.. Haha.. I guess bun is happily tired. I dunno why it seems all is good. I hope nobody disturbs us today.. Today I got another gathering. Looking forward to it. It's another one of pur silly themes. Hee.. I haven shitted for 2 days.. Damn.. I gotta drink my kopi again. Or should I wait? Actually two days is not a lot u know.. Yawns.. But tonight got gathering.. Yawn..

Coffee bun

I jus hate it when they change the layout.. Confuses me.. Why can't blogger jus stick to the usual webpage where I jus log in n type? Anyway, I really got mood to go work tml. To face all the shit that awaits me. Had a small chat wif my ex boss. It's always great to hear from her.. I always admired her perseverance n ability to stay calm. I got so much more to learn. But it also reminds me how stupid I am to hang on. For what? Well, I still got a chance to run.. But I shouldn't give in to changes jus like that.. I get thru this struggle it will be much easier next time.. It's gonna be easier.. Today I felt like shit.. I didn't shit. N I had a splitting headache whole afternoon. I took two sips of coffee which helped for a while.. Then my head started to explode again.. Mus br yesterday I took then got withdrawal symptoms. I really need to find my meaning of life soon. Loosing focus.. Yawn.. Sleepy. May tml be a greater day.

Bored

I finished my while vampire season 1. Well, still got season 2 but I dun feel like starting today.

I'm bored again.. It's like I got nothing to look forward to again. Boring life.

I'm getting my strength back recently. Can walk rather fast. But now I feel like running man...

I feel that I get more romantic if I jus relax a little more. But then I realize that I dun do much productive stuff when I ain't working. So well... I need the job after all...

I tot of my resolutions. I wonder if my resolve is strong enough. What should I resolve? Shld I enshrine my beliefs? But how can I make my faith stronger? This morning during chanting I was daydreamin abt my show.

Yawn. I guess I wanna zzzz..

Oh yah. I gave in to my kopi. Couldn't shot for a few days so I needed a trigger. I took coffee out of desperation.

Sleeping time!!

Last day of mc

I'm talkin to myself again.. How pathetic.. Haha..

But the good news is I'm getting better.

I haven't drank kopi in like 7 days! I think this is a victory! Although I dunno why I am doing this for? Well, jus to not be addicted to anything??? Well, I aim to be a social drinker.. Haha.. As in I can drink only once in a while for enjoyment, not drink it cos I have to live without it! I seriously have doubts abt myself actually.. Maybe I shld jus give myself till end of the month to try out. It's not that difficult. Maybe next time I try to forgo meat n see how.. Haha..

Omg, the things pple do when they get really bored.

I'm getting a headache but I'm trying to ignore it. Seriously, i expect myself to be stronger than this.. I think I'm jus bored. But it's nice to be bored once in a while.. I get a hance to let my head go silly n jus imagine!!!

All the super action n flying in the movies really has gotten into my brain.

I feel like going shopping. Going out wif my frens.. It seems so Long ago! I can't wait man!

Tml I'm going back to work. I won't say I am looking forward to it. But at least I know I can be normal. Haha.

I took a moment to question my faith again.. It's sliding again. I barely pulled myself together n now I am screwing up again. Its not a good thing n I am a little worried. I dun even enjoy my prayers to be honest. It's such a chore.. But I dun wanna slacken so I jus continue.

Haha.. Emo.. The op must have affected my braincells..

Damn my freaking head is aching!!!

Okok, shall go n watch something else. Hope it relaxes me..

Post operation

well, i guess i shouldnt complain. everyone's fussing over me and i feel like a useless bum... i cant do anything... anything that can potentially rupture the wound.. so vunerable.

k's been really sweet all this while, esp during my pain attacks. i had a stomachache.. i think my tummy cant contain too much food or something?? anyway, i woke him up for 2 nights n really got him worried..

but the good thing is, bun is recovering! although not as fast as i tot i would, i think i can still say i am well... bun must stay postitive!

oh yah, meanwhile due to my gastric problem, i kicked the kopi habit! unexpected rite? i wont say its over actually, i jus think maybe i should stop for the regular morning drink. i will jus drink once in a while. i had kopi in my veins, its difficult to drop.

i wanted to work today. strangely i actually missed being at work. maybe i love my job after all. was kindof worried that something would go wrong. although when i contacted them they asked me not to think about work.

but i am glad the weekend is here.. although i cant say i am gonna enjoy it, cos i will be stuck at home. n i am going to miss a party. but well, i shall make do with enjoying being at home then.. at least i know i aint missing out anything in office. haha.. when did i become a workbun?

i tried to do my appraisal jus now.. wow.. its kindof difficult.. u know, i dun even know what i am doing now.. i am like doing bits and pieces and nothing gets done.. haha.. like that how to write?

tml gonna remove my plaster and expose my wounds.. gasp.. i hope its healed...

My operation

Went for the op yesterday. Quite an interesting experience although quite scary too..

The nurses were nice.. I guess Tat calmed me down a little. I waited like 3 hrs before I could do the op. They kept asking me the same questions. The funny thing was that the nurse asked me wat operation I was going for I was stuck.. Hey! The 3 medical terms had 5 syllables each! I mumbled the 1st two sylables of each word n she let me pass. Haha..

The operating theatre looked damn cool. There were floodlights shining on the bed. I was quite impressed I must admit. All those monitors n equipment tat looks like what u see on TV. Except this time I was the specimen. Didnt really like this part.. I knew I wont die, but still my heart fluttered. The anesthetist explained to me some stuff and I felt them inject something into my left hand. Oh yah, they made me sign something to promise its not their business if I die. I felt the mask n inhaled some funny smelling gas.

Strange.. After a few puffs I can still hear the commotion.. Strange.. Oh no! Where they gonna operate while I was still awake? I forced my eyes open to let them know I haven slept yet. Then I realized that I was in another room. Oh no.. Did they postpone the op cos I couldn't fall asleep? Shucks!! Then I started to feel pain. It was the most excruciating cramp I have felt in my life. It finally struck me tat the op was over n I had wounds. I was shivering n shaking. I told the nurse it hurt n I was cold. She told me to bear wif it cos pain medicine would make me more drousy. I was gritting my teeth n whining for I dunno how long.

But suprisingly the pain really started to go off... K came in n took my hand, I felt much better. Then I started to feel damn sleepy. I fell asleep as the nurse spoke. They forced me to eat something even though I couldn't. Drank a few sips of glucose n ate some sweets. I felt like shit n I swore this is the last op I am going thru.

It really is so impt to be healthy. I guess pple who are normally healthy must get really sick one in a while. I had gastic pain so i forced myself to eat a biscuit. It took me another 3 hrs to walk to out of the hospital, still feeling not that great but the nurse told me I would feel like tat whole day so go home n rest better.

We took a cab home n I finally threw up after alighting. Actually I felt much better after that. But still weak n tired. I called my mom to say I was well, then i forced myself to eat a biscuit n went to sleep again.

I dozed for 3 hrs n woke up for dinner. I managed to drink some soup n eaves chew some meat. I got nauseas again but felt better after eating some mangosteen. The sweet n sour fruity taste felt good. I was went to bed immediately so I won't vommit. Luckily tat helped.

Woke up at 12 for milo n slept again.

Oh yah, I'm not on pain killers anymore. Today feels much fresher. Although i still walk like an old lady.. I guess I am recovering really fast. Haha.. It feels good to be healthy.

Weekend

Yawn.. Sleepy lazy afternoon. Or rather, lazy evening now..

Its a mad n emo week. Luckily I got hooked to twilight. Tat helped to take my mind off stuff.. But still, the urge to quit is there.

Went to vivo with k on fri night. His Hp spoil again. Tat brand sucks. Haha., ate orh lua without oyster. Super sinful. After tat I felt like an oily bin. LS next morn. Went out with the gals and became fatter.. Haha.. We always indulge in food. Although i still dun understand why they buy such expensive bags.. But I guess everyone has their preferences..I have learnt to relax my budget a little with them around. I guess they work v hard, jus some pampering to get happy won't kill. Oh yah.. I carried baby j.. Hee.. Normally i aint good with kids but she was good n cuddly bundle. I continued with shopping wif Soks. long time never chat Liao.. Did a lot of catch up.

When I got home k was whining away. Then we watched vampire diaries. By the time I got to bed it was already 12!

Today I damn sleepy during chanting session. V bad of me. Supposed to pray for some stuff but I got distracted when I started to daydream.

Going for surgery on tue. Hope no postpone n it's smooth. Haha.. V sian if I have to reschedule.

Hand tired . GOnna stop writing Liao

Although I complain I fat I still ate Mac for lunch n chicken chop snack. Aiyah.. Sometimes I dun really care abt my future. I wanted to enjoy the moment.

Bun went to Bird park n meeting

Went to see bird today. Hahaha, bird park lah..

It was rather slow moving day, rather tiring too.. Bit it's still good family bonding time. Hee.. I wonder if I had kids will I be like them. Haha..

Honestly I ain't a bird lover. In fact I hate birds. Except for chicken. My tender fluffy friends. But those big birds look really good. The flamingos look so pretty!

At night I rushed at top speed to a meeting. Bun gobbled down my food n almost ran there.. Was a bit paiseh tat I had to leave my inlaws for the meeting but they were really understanding.. The shy bun then rushed off.

The meeting was a blast. A pity tat k, whom originally said he would go, suddenly backed out. Well, no choice la, my parents would have killed me if I missed it. I have to keep my promise. Plus I haven been v active, better do something for the district.

I needed to hear the encouragements,the guidiances. I am so lost now, gotta steer myself back on track n learn to be happy!

Now I am feeling better. Hopefully tml I won't be blue. I will be lucky.. I am strong! I will overcome all obstacles. Whatever challenge awaits me, I am READY!!!