Emo attacks

Got the monday blues today. Dunno what got into me. I felt like SHIT after lunch. Really damn kns...

I chanted silently for peace, clearity of mind, n I jus stared into space feeling really depressed. I dunno what the hell happened. I jus felt damn sad.. As though I could walk out of the office any moment, as if nothing really mattered..

I got scared.. Can't really understand why I felt this way.. Why the sudden hopelessness n sudden depression... I jus can't stomach all this weird thoughts.

I went to make a hot drink. Sipped my coffee slowly, n jus focused on my drink. Tasting every mouthful as if it were my last.

So much for the drama.. I guess work helped to distract me, I got caught up with all the questions n phonecalls tat I forgot my unhappiness..

Well, I still can't pinpoint what went wrong, but I guess its jus a passing emo cloud. I gotta stay strong. I'm such a weak muffin.

Sleepy.. Shall rest for the great day tat awaits me tml.

First day at work

It's bun's first day at work. After blk leave.. Mixed feelings.. I feel both ha
Ppt n sad at the same time. I have the energy at least.. Jus tat I still haven gotten the spark back.

Two more days to the weekend. Sometimes I wish the weekend dun come cos I can't finish my job. Weird but well, life is full of contradictions.

Going for a minor op next month. Got a polyp that I need to cut out. Dun worry, small prob, not dangerous. I guess anything tats not cancer is good. No stiching. Although I am a bit sian cos I have to take time off work. N I dun like to take MC!!! But then again.. Health is impt, who cares abt work!

I feel like a money slave sometimes... But seriously, i also dunno what i wanna do. I ain't actually suffering now so why m I complaining? I dun even look at my salary.

Shall not b so negative. Later got prob then think lah..

bun on leave

Bun's on block leave now.. went to malaysia twice. hahaha.. super boliao rite? its great that k has started to like to travel a bit.. although not that far, but well, better than nothing..

well, tell u something. i dun feel like going back to work. the feeling of quitting is stronger than ever... i gotta jus learn to control my emotions.

so far nobody called me these 2 days.. i hope it means that everything is alright... damn.. i should stop thinking about work... even if the company crashes i dun give a damn shit.

spent the whole holiday eating. became a BIG FAT BUN!!! went to KL and eat eat eat... must diet liao.. yesterday i went to geylang and i got 6 big bites on my legs.. wah lauzzzz.....i think i walk too slow liao.. was super duper tired yesterday that all i wanted to do was to sleep... lazy bun... haha...i dunno where all the energy went.

i havent been in the mood for anything recently... sianz.. i even dread to do my prayers.. bad bad bad... i jus wanna sleep.. nua and rot the day away... the spark is gone... i need to relight it...  i tot the twilight movie would energise me but it really sucked... shouldnt have watched it... i still like my other show..

oh yah, n the brighter note, i managed to pull out lots of white and blackheads after using the pore pack.. muahaha.. SQUEEZE!!!!

YAWN... i feeling sleepy... getting bored with my own stories...

nap time..

Frustrated bun

I am bored n restless. See bay sian..

Dunno why. But its jus so sickening. I feel moody. I wanna quit my job again. Jus dun wanna work. But seriously, I feel bad to quit.

I dunno why I damn emo today. Super sianz. I shld be fighting monsters n flying across the sky. Not lead this kind of boring life. Bad bad bad.. @&$"&!

I shld sleep now. So unproductive.

Sian bun

Bun is damn sian. Today got so much prob. Potential reorg. I jus dun like the instability. Sucks.

I wonder what life would b like outside. It's so crazy here. Big mess.. Big big mess.

I honestly in holiday mood Liao.. Dun feel like working at all. Not enthusiastic at all. I jus wanna slack. Maybe I shld join special projects. The outcast group. Or the exile dept.

Tired. Slept at 4am during dnd. Haha.. Didn't win any big prize. I seriously was praying like, I dun wish for any grand prize, I jus pray for my well being. Health is so impt. Weird to think like tat rite? But seriously I dun need the grand prize, I jus wanna be happy. Hope my frens n family stay happy too.

We got a free hotel room n it was damn luxurious. Super good to nuah there. I bathed twice n really enjoyed the bed man..

how bun spent her holiday

Bun has started to blog again. As u can see im getting bored again.

I got over that tv show. I still watch but I dun really think of it..

Oh yah, made cheese cake n carrot juice at my mom's place today. Fun except I was having a headache. I tot I could skip the morn dose but I was wrong...

I jus can't survive without it.

I wonder how those preggies stand not drinking for so Many mths. I think I will die man..issit really that bad for health??

I basically nuahed the whole of today... I didn't have strength at all!!

I felt so bloated n sick when I was having fun wif the cheesecake. Then I took a little bit of coffee cos I really couldn't stand it.

I dun mind drinking tea but I heard the caffine is even higher. Yawn. Sleepy bun

Party spoiler

We jus left a party like at 8pm. Super anti social but there were like tons of people n bun is not really the sociable type. Considering that we stayed for 3 hrs, it's quite a good deal.

I was really shocked n had stage fright with the crowd. It's like a wedding banquet. Really boring but at least I got to meet sone people. Not tat I miss all of them.. But then I got o meet M. Long time no c Liao.. Bun still never changes, always fall asleep after 9. Haha. This time I went home to sleep instead.

N bought visited our Hse n she brought us a big bouquet of flowers. So sweet rite?? She's so toughtful, not like heartless bun bun. I dunno if I was being selfish. There is such a thin line of being polite n being pretentious, living how others want u to be instead of doing what makes u happy. I mean like, I really get influenced by how pple think. Maybe I shld really jus go wif my gut.

I think I shld be myself. But of cos I wanna be polite n nice bun too...life is full of contradictions. Guess I better jus trial n error n barge thru. Life is short. Jus whack lah! Hiyak!!

PEACE

Today I got nothing to grumble abt.. Life is reasonably good these days. Cos I can go home on time.

Starting to appreciate life more. I guess I really wanna have work life balance. I got it and I am happy.

I really screwed up my health last mth. Came down with an infection tat I tot I was gonna die. It's great to live normally again. Now on antibiotics, I hate medicine but it helps n it states there I need to finish so well..

Anyway, half my office is sick n coughing. Health is impt. Last night I ate a BA chang n regret man!! Indigestion whole night! Wah lau.. Lucky I ate only one! Felt like SHIT.

Oh yah! Today I managed to get a seat on the bus. HENG. hope my lick continues. Hee..