hope and faith

I think i am getting senile, took so long jus to get to this page and update my bloggie.
i went for a discussion meeting last sat. the assistant leader died suddenly due to stroke and lots of people were severely demoralized. especially the aunties that were closer to her.

the senior leader came down to talk to us and give us encouragments.

"the scariest thing in life is not illness or poverty, it is the feeling of being useless." quoted from mother theresa. i guess thats true. who doesnt feel useless and helpless once in a while. or maybe even all the time in our subconciousness? i often belittle myself, think that i didnt do much. after all, not everything i do shows results straight away... i must learn to be patient. work and wait, dun give up halfway.. i washed the clothes today, ate with my dad, going to eat with my parents tonight, all these small actions are my sucessful attempts of being filial daughter and a good wife.

even the bubbly happy bun feels down once in a while. but i important thing is not to loose hope. i pledge my faith to my belief, to believe even if things go wrong, to place my life into an unknown source of power.. if things go wrong, there must be a reason. they call it karma. its might have been worse...

it sounds really harsh but i believe it was probably the best way to go. it could have been worse rite? who knows, she might have already escaped death before but her life got prolonged due to her good deeds. but in the end people have to die rite? its jus when and how? i wonder i sound heartless and arrogant to say this. but of cos i will question why if i were closer to her. maybe i just say that we all have a limited time on earth, stop spending it feeling angry and in regret. i hope her family doesnt go into depression. depression is even more serious than disease.

i pray for the strength to carry on with life. for my friends and family's health and happiness. for the wisdom to be able to encourage others, to motivate others to lead happy fulfilling lives. i bring up a good little bun.