Little bear

Its been 11days since i gave birth to My cute little bundle of joy.

Now he's a bigger bundle. A bigger n stronger bear. I must have drank too much coffee during my pregnancy. Little bear keeps staying awake even after feeding. Meanwhile mummy bun jus continues to feed him like a cow. Thankfully I have enough supply.

I guess I got a lot to learn. Expected lah. I can't really handle him well. Need the help of nanny n my mummy. After every feed I am exhausted cos he struggles n cries n I can't figure out why actually. K wanted to feed him formula so bun won't b so tired but since got the nanny why not rite? Jus let her carry the bb to me as and when he needs feeding lah. At least he has one full mth of nutritious bun milk.

The nanny is of great help although she's kindof irritating sometimes. Keep telling me grandmother methods that bun doesn't give a shit abt.

Bun fell into a depression after the 6day of confinement. The nanny pissed me off real bad when she told my mom to buy stout to bathe baby bear. We already told her we didn't want to use this method but she insisted. Some more ask me jus dun tell k can Liao. Bun lost my cool n snatched the stout n went to the room and slammed the drawer. Hmmm.. I didn't know I was so fierce. But anyway, I was really pissed. Then I started to feel sticky n dirty n wanted to stop my unhappy confinement. My mood hit rock bottom n the tears jus flowed like a tap. Misery n self pity jus set in. I couldn't stop the negative tots. It jus kept clouding my little brain, cluttering my head with anger n despair. it's jus a small issue but I couldn't stop feeling sad. I jus couldn't.

Once again I was blessed with a great family. My mummy decided to let me take my first bath, k told me I shld stop breastfeeding cos it can cause depression. Be even wanted to bring me out of the house for a walk. Cos he thinks the whole confinement theory is CRAP. Well, tats how I took my first bath. U know, it's funny, after I bathed, although in that strange herbal water, I felt damn shiok. As though I went to the jungle to camp for 7days n finally had my first bath. instant recovery.

I guess I still find it weird to have a stranger in the house. Bun is a spoilt bun maybe? K bought a heartshaped cake to cheer bun up. hee.. So sweet..

Bun cheered up on the next day. Have been breaking lots of confinement law these few days. Cos I DUN GIVE A DAMN SHIT. Yah. Call me spoilt. I really think it's utter rubbish. So what if I suffer from aches n pain when I grow old. How long can I live in the first place? Why shld I waste my precious youth suffering in something that I DUN BELIEVE IN?

I'm stonger now. I mean it's jus some gossip n basically I know who's the boss. I have control over things. Over my life that is.

I'm still doing hands on training with lil bear. He's really a terror sometimes. Struggling n refusing to sleep. Only slightly over a week old n he's capable of irritating the shit out if us. Haha. Sleepless nights n restless days.

Well, I guess tats part and parcel of being a mummy bun.