hope and faith

I think i am getting senile, took so long jus to get to this page and update my bloggie.
i went for a discussion meeting last sat. the assistant leader died suddenly due to stroke and lots of people were severely demoralized. especially the aunties that were closer to her.

the senior leader came down to talk to us and give us encouragments.

"the scariest thing in life is not illness or poverty, it is the feeling of being useless." quoted from mother theresa. i guess thats true. who doesnt feel useless and helpless once in a while. or maybe even all the time in our subconciousness? i often belittle myself, think that i didnt do much. after all, not everything i do shows results straight away... i must learn to be patient. work and wait, dun give up halfway.. i washed the clothes today, ate with my dad, going to eat with my parents tonight, all these small actions are my sucessful attempts of being filial daughter and a good wife.

even the bubbly happy bun feels down once in a while. but i important thing is not to loose hope. i pledge my faith to my belief, to believe even if things go wrong, to place my life into an unknown source of power.. if things go wrong, there must be a reason. they call it karma. its might have been worse...

it sounds really harsh but i believe it was probably the best way to go. it could have been worse rite? who knows, she might have already escaped death before but her life got prolonged due to her good deeds. but in the end people have to die rite? its jus when and how? i wonder i sound heartless and arrogant to say this. but of cos i will question why if i were closer to her. maybe i just say that we all have a limited time on earth, stop spending it feeling angry and in regret. i hope her family doesnt go into depression. depression is even more serious than disease.

i pray for the strength to carry on with life. for my friends and family's health and happiness. for the wisdom to be able to encourage others, to motivate others to lead happy fulfilling lives. i bring up a good little bun.

Bun thoughts

Bun is nuahing my life away again. I wonder abt the future sometimes, what should I do? How can I keep my fire burning inside me? It's important. I want to be superbun remember? The last thing that should happen is I waste my life away watching and waiting. I gotta be a role model for my little bun. Sometimes I wonder if I picked the wrong time to have little bun. Of all the years I have a dragon bun. But if I waited what if I can't have a little bun? Why worry abt the future rite? My bun will learn to survive, n be as lucky as mummy bun. Haha.. Jus being a KS mummy. Btw, k brought home a pet lobster. Realize I really ain't no animal lover. I still think that animals r meant to be eaten. Shoudnt keep the lobster, think they should be in the wild. The lobster is really jus wasting it's life away at in the tank. It's not even fun in there. I wonder if it's happy.

a bun week

little bun is growing well, i guess, cos bun is getting hungry more often. heee... pants as tight as last week, not much change.

went to enjoy the faciliites at marina bay sands cos my fren had a free room. went swimming in the top of the hotel and enjoyed the magnificient view! then i went to their bathroom and soaked my feet into their hot water tub. couldnt go in fully to soak cos i didnt wanna burn little bun. what a luxury! great experience. i mean, i would never pay to do such a thing.

bun got my bonus credited into my statement but dunno why i dun really feel anything. it seems as though money is not important.

bun decided to buy a 1000 bustan to enshrine my belief. hesitant at first, but then, u know ah, if money can buy happiness, why not rite?

oh yah, my parents came back safely from china. haven seen my parents cos one of their fren passed away suddenly cos of a stroke, so they have been going to the funeral for the past few days.

life is so unpredictable. i got a shock when i recieved the news.

ate kfc for lunch but i felt like shit after eating. i guess little bun doesnt like it. haha.. or maybe its the bachang i ate this morn. that half a nonya chang really made my stomach work too hard.

damn lazy day today, but at least i got something settled. haha.. .shall go and purchase my bustan tml. hiak hiak.. nmhrgk.

The 2nd trimester

Yippee! I got past those 1st trimester symptoms! Almost lah, I do get a little woozy sometimes but on the whole bun is feeling fine. Weekend is near. N bun can't wait. I am going out! Bun tummy got fat suddenly this week. But still thinner than k. Hahaha. Gotta say goodbye to my old shorts n skirts. I can't even fit into some tops cos my boobs got fuller too. Muahaha. I think I am gonna be a big mummy bun. 3kg Liao. Oo.. N te bb is like a few hundred grams only? But nvm lah. Healthy can Liao. My list of not to eat foods is gettin longer. No pineapple, mayo, raw, chin chow, mutton.. Watch my sugar. Blah blah blah... Lucky I still can eat most things. I have been treated really well these days. I feel so loved. Haha.. It's probably fri so I am so bubbly.

Silly bun

I dunno what happen last night. I got stressed up n I couldn't sleep. I kept worrying abt stupid things. Damn. I tried to turn it off but I couldn't. Tossed n turned in bed whole night. Jumpy bun whole night. Hope little bun wasn't affected. Hope I can last the whole day today. It's not fun to be all drained out at work. So today must water plants for mummy. She went to china with daddy. Hope it will be fun. Hee.. I was thinking they should enjoy themselves now before little bun comes along n we all get bz. I am trying to relax. It's not easy but I am trying to tune my brain. Got lots of support from everyone ard bun. Pampering n helping bun. I heard the recession is comming soon. It's ok if I get retrenched.

rest n relax bun

damn slack these few days. spent all my time nuahing away. well, i should try to enjoy such freetime before i get into action.

life is so ironic. u know, its seems jus yesterday i became a married bun. well, time flies.

i am glad i have the previllege of becoming a mummy bun. of cos it was my choice, but i still had to depend on a little luck.

today i nuahed on bed, waited for k to wake up, then it was lunchtime. we went out to eat. came back, bun read a magazine and took a nap. jus ate some teabreak. tonight going to mummy's for dinner. basically i jus eat sleep and shit. infact today i didnt shit so i jus ate and slept. its an easy but kindof boring though.. my brain cells will die off if i continue like this.

i wanna go out shopping soon. although i get exhausted easily. but i still have some shopping to do.

remember my motto of enjoying life? its good to be happy

i feel like garfield. jus lying around doing absolultely nothing. hahaha.. why strive so much, stress out ourselves so much in life? whats the point? but then again, if its for a purpose, then i guess all the exhaustion and stress is worth it. as long as u know wat u r doing, or at least think that you know what you are doing, jus do it.

i have so much to learn about kids. project bb. its jus one of my milestones in life. i love accomplishments. this year my change in status beats everythig else that went wrong.

i will be out of the stupid coporate politics in mid sept i guess. 6 more months. haha...good riddance.

my little dragon bun

yesterday i typed a long post but i pressed the wrong button and deleted everything. SHIT.

anyway, to cut the story short, i will be having a little bun approximately around 4 oct. hee.. so excited about my little dragon bun, or xiao long bao.

the wait has finally ended and bun can progress on to become a proud mummy bun. i was lucky i guess.

i am lucky enough not to vomit out everything i eat, although i cant eat much. but of cos i am so tired everyday. perpetually a big sleepy bun. i can hardly concentrate at work. plus some mood swings.

my tummy is getting rounder but still nobody can see it. i put on close to 2kg already. wearing skirts and dresses. pple say small sized mummies have small bumps. well, i dunno, but who cares. as long as my little bun is fine i am happy.

got my bonus for the year. not as good as last year but i am satisfied anyway. n i am not interested in getting promoted.

little bun came at the right time. i can miss the peak period at work. i feel a bit bad but i guess i shouldnt lah, they can have more bonus. 4 months maternity is as good as a 4 month bonus. hiak hiak..

okok, shall not be sickening. but now at least i can concentrate on being happy and healthy.

took a day off today. bun already on holiday mood liao. at my mom's place now. i cant move around much, cos i get tired easily. i perfer to sit down. dun really like shopping. so might as well jus stay at home.

last week i went out with k, drank a avocado banana milkshake. i loved the milkshake, seldom i get healthy stuff that taste so good.

shucks. sleepy again.. after reading my own blog. haha..

7 years

It's my 7 th year in the company. How time flies. I was jus a little innocent bun then. Now I have been thru ao many hard knocks. But I would still say I am quite lucky. Boss gave me lots of opportunities and bun got promoted twice. Well, I shouldn't ask for more, I started out as a contract job for only one year. Now I manage a group of pple. Wow, I have grown a lot, especially the past year. I guess it's time. Perfect for my exit strategy. Hopefully. Govt launched something again. Bloody hell. Gonna make me work my ass off. But work is work, I shouldn't let it affect my life so much rite? Although I did get really boiled up on fri cos of an audit issue. Bit anyway, I should learn to contol my anger. What's the point of getting angry and wasting energy rite? Life has so much more than jus a work. Took an afternoon nap jus now. Now I got a headache. Must be the heat. Drank a bit if kopi but it didn't work. Still aching away. I still think that coffee is good once in a while. Although i drink less. Much much less. Off to my mom place again. Dinner time is coming. Eat sleep n shit. I thinking need an ice cold cup of coke to feel better. Haha. Or jus hope the ache goes away when it's cool at night.