Emo bun

I dunno why I'm feeling sad. Emo emo emo.

I had such a splendid weekend. Dinner on thurs night, whole day at home with lil bear, went to hui Hse n in law Hse on sat, then at my dream home today. Not tat exciting but I'm content.

Maybe my recent flu bug has weakened me. Felt a bit shitty on fri n sat. After I went to hui Hse I took a bus all by myself m lil bear n I was super exhausted. Damn damn tired. But happy. I always wanted to do that.

Anyway, I'm not gonna get a car so lil bear gotta get used to buses. Or rather I'm going to have to get used to bringing him out using public transport.

Tired. He was all well behaved except at night. We put him on a new mattress. he wouldn't sleep. It was too hot. plus He didn't like the aircon. So he made that clear to us. A sleepless night for bun. Ok lah, I managed to get a 2hr nap somewhere, if u count it.

Lil bear was kindof cranky today. Prob due to the lack of sleep. N the heat.

My big bear also hot n sleepy. He's am exhausted papa bear lying on the sofa.

Tell u a secret. I lost a kilo again. I think it's the flu. N the milking. N the stress. Not exactly v good. But well, it's a happy problem. Not in the rush to solve it.

Bonus is comming n the pressure is heating up at work. I'm not exactly looking forward to this time of the yr. strange rite? People will go. It's jus a part of life. I shld get used to it. Grow up bun.

Lil bear didn't sleep!

Sat night lil bear couldn't sleep so he kept crying.

I couldn't fig out wat happened to him. I tot he was being noti. But maybe he wasnt. Kept tossing ard the bed n dropping his pacifier. From 2am onwards! Then keep cryjng for help after tat. Make me n k so frustrated. We woke up like 10 times tat night lor! N he didn't sleep after feeding him!

sleepy bun bun was so pissed with him! I know I shldnt get upset but well, he's really damn irritating mah... Pple still praise him for being a good boy outside. GOOD MY FOOT!

It's either he got too excited at night or it was too hot. I hope it's the weather though.

Come to think of it, I shld have on the aircon. But sleepy mah, never think of it. Plus he wasn't dripping wif sweat.

The next day we were damn stone. Lil bear was fine but we v tired. Super duper stoned. In addition bun was having a flu. My nose was perpetually dripping! Still need to look after him.

Last night I took the drowsy pill n knocked out completely! K said I snore like a crazy bulldozer. Haha, poor k. Luckily he wasn't pissed with Noisy bun.

I didn't hear lil bear until 5am. The sleepy bun went to feed him. Luckily he didn't give me hell after tat . Let me sleep for another precious hr.

Today my head still floating due to the magic pill. Yawn. I hope tonight is not like crazy sat.

Bun couldn't do much work today. Damn inefficient. But for a sick bun I am not too bad la .

Efficient bun

Now at a damn bloody boring talk. Kena forced by boss. I'm making the best out of my time by blogging.

Got over my moodiness n had a talk with my staff. Wasn't as bad as I tot. Well, I still dun really love it to be boss. But I had to face the challenge.

Anyway, I realized I was so boggled down by my negativity that I forgot it was lil bear's fifith month! Omg! He's 5 mth already. V soon he's gonna call me mummy!

My little cutie pie. So how Lian rite? Of cos my little one I will find him cute lah! Except at 3am when he yells. It ain't v cute actually.

Ok, shall not complain abt my cutie.

I aim to finish most of my work n go on time. Meed to pump after that some more. Cos I'm going to pat tor! Muahaha.. Wish me luck.

Screw the company.

Setback at office

Demoralized, sad, embarrassed. I am tempted to quit again.

Faced a small setback at work. My worst fears have come true. Or partly true..

I may have to share my manpower with another team. It's not a good idea of cos! My future headcount cut Forever! ESP bad in times as bad as this when there's a head count freeze.

I am totally at a lost. To agree or not to agree? Tat is the question..

Not agree is to safeguard myself. Agree is for paving future relationship ties.. It gives her some exposure also anyway. But my other team mates will suffer.. Why shld we? Will I end up losing more?

I cant blame them actually. There's so much uncertainty here. So much craziness going on. The economy is good n they freezing headcount. WTH???

A 2 mth transfer.. Humph! I bet it's gonna be forever n bun team will be left one short.

It's when times like this I really feel like quitting. I'm jus an assistant manager looking after a team of 5. Which idiot does that?? An associate got less responsibility but my pay isn't far off.

HieZ.. Why m I still grumbling? I can't stop thinking abt all the negative things! Work prob is the easiest to solve cos I can always quit! But I know I shouldn't run away from problems. It will always come back n haunt me.

I wonder how I can do better as a manager. Or maybe I shld jus relax n do my stuff. I gotta learn to adapt to stress.

Still gotta do my test cases. My test scenarios. Endless stuff to do n I jus wanna waste my life away. Yah I know they pay me to work but I'm jus so so so demoralized that my job feels meaningless.

I no mood still gotta put on a brave front n face my team later. No choice. That's what a leader has to do.

Unless I quit.