Bun needs motivation

Ate with my colleagues today. Felt like the last supper.

It was a good catchup. Noting my bz schedule.

I'm trying to motivate myself to send my résumé out. But when I reach home I am always bz. When lil bear sleeps I feel v tired too then I go sleep. I need more energy. I have to get my enthusiasm back!

Lazy bun.

Things keep popping up and I my determination keeps swaying. Oh my.. I feel so useless, can't even do a simple thing.

I realize I dun have a hobby. Nothing interests me liao. Nothing except lil bear stuff. He's the new guy in my life. Haha..

On a seperate note, I'm trying to get lil bear to sleep thru the night. I tried water, feeding him extra, all methods. Doesn't work. Hope my fatty bear sleeps tonight.

I'm running out of patience with him. I wonder when he will sleep thru. Maybe I need to chant more. Tuabapao tuabapao tuabapao tuabapao....

To quit or not?

Updated my résumé. Realize tat I got quite a lot of experience.

I wonder if I will survive out there.

Not that it's a bed of roses here. But at least I know people.

No use avoiding problems. It's always my policy.

I spent some time grooming one of my gals jus now. I realize they actually have more drive than me. I'm a bit burnt out.

I a bit sick of getting arrowed. Being left to face the politics. I blow up at every single thing that goes wrong. This is so unlike me. Need to keep cool.

K thinks I am making the wrong choice to abandon my stability. That I will regret.

True. I'm not exactly tortured here.

But I'm still gonna prepare myself. Jus in case. Jus in case I can't make it. No point feeling so sad abt work rite?

Big bosses comming back next week. The shit will repeat again. Must motivate myself.